Articles
https://www.nct.org.uk/life-parent/grandparents/10-tips-for-dealing-laws-when-you-have-baby-interfering-boundaries-and-taking-over
https://medium.com/family-matters-2/do-you-feel-judged-as-a-mother-heres-how-you-can-protect-yourself-42eced993941
https://raisedgood.com/judgment-natural-parent/
https://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/parents-babies-judged-poll-pandemic-b1867694.html
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/communication-success/201606/5-keys-handling-judgmental-and-opinionated-people
https://motherofalllists.com/2018/03/09/how-to-deal-with-judgement/
https://medium.com/family-matters-2/do-you-feel-judged-as-a-mother-heres-how-you-can-protect-yourself-42eced993941
YOU TUBE VIDEO
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HnmVZxhNrUo
https://jaaq.org/creator/36605?questionId=17H03QGp
Mum Guilt
https://www.bbc.co.uk/tiny-happy-people/dealing-with-parent-guilt/z4ynp4j
https://www.emmasdiary.co.uk/pregnancy-and-birth/postnatal-wellbeing/how-to-cope-with-mum-guilt
https://www.allaboutamummy.co.uk/blog/how-to-overcome-and-deal-with-mum-guilt
The 10 things mums need to STOP feeling guilty about (healthymummy.co.uk)
https://jaaq.org/creator/36605
https://jaaq.org/creator/36605?questionId=gN3oj4QA
https://www.netmums.com/pregnancy/how-and-how-not-to-deal-with-judgement-from-others-in-pregnancy
Peer Supporter Tips
I had a few "friends" who were particularly judgmental, so I didn't actively seek their friendship, I’d be civil in response to their msgs but not initiate convos, the friendship fizzled out over time & I'm okay with that. So I suppose you could say 'steer away from toxic friendships'.
Another thing that helped me overcome my own judgement/feeling of being judged surroundings breastfeeding & c section was something a friend said to me which has always stuck with me "when they are in the school playground you won't be able to tell who was bottle fed, who was breastfed, and who came out of where”! Funny and true!
It’s taken a bit of practice but I visualise a big thick shield around me and my children, and if anyone says anything I find especially judgemental I imagine it hitting the shield and bouncing straight back off towards the person who said it. That way I don’t even let the comment in, it can’t touch me or upset me.
I find it helpful sometimes to work out what my biggest triggers are and then sit down when I’ve got a few moments and rationalise in my head why I’ve decided to do things a certain way. For example my mum thinks I should leave my very sensitive little boy alone when he’s overwhelmed and tantruming, as that’s what she did with me. “Just leave him to it, he’s only looking for attention”. I don’t agree with this, and I don’t want to leave him on his own, I like to be with him and be his safe calm space. I used to explain this every time she made a judgement, but now I’ve reassured myself that I’m confident in my decision to react the way I do with my son and I don’t let her comments bother me. In my head I say to myself “this is my way of doing things, and I’m happy and confident in that.”
Dr Rangan Chatterjee tip - when someone says or does something that triggers you (such as making a judgemental comment), think to yourself ‘if I was them, I’d do/think/act the same way’. This can be helpful as a way of realising that the comment made isn’t about you - it stems from the person who said it - their life experience/own judgements about themselves. It takes practice but it can be really helpful!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bL7Y6S4dMjI
A video showing a normal day from the perspective of a mother and then her child
"Ever feel that sense of guilt but not sure if it's normal? Well, in this week's episode Zoe discusses why mothers might feel guilt and that it's actually not all bad. Zoe explains how to transform your "mum" guilt and what common feelings mothers misidentify as guilt also."
https://www.motherkind.co/listen-1/ep-282-weve-been-sold-a-lie-about-mum-guiltheres-why